The Promise of Eternity, The Lie of Paradise
by Megageeko
Summary: From the very moment he first laid eyes on Castiel, Balthazar had known they would be destined for each other. It had taken millions of years, but his prediction came true. But of course, fate would be cruel enough to hardly give him a century with Castiel before something threatened the happiness he had earned. Something by the name of Dean Winchester.
1. Chapter 1

This is a fic I had an idea for after noticing how often my RPs with a certain RP partner of mine always end with a pining Balthazar off to the side while Castiel and Dean fell in love. So it got me thinking and the idea of an AU where Balthazar and Castiel were mates throughout the series, and the effect that would have. Now, I'm not going to give much away, but it'll be pretty canon-compliant up until season 6, after that it'll get a bit AU-ish.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my fic.

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Balthazar could remember clearly the first time he had ever set eyes on Castiel. It had been on the dawn of humanity, back when the silly monkeys were little more than the mere potential for what they could be, trudging about in the sludge pool.

He and Castiel were both fledglings at the time; he himself had been created of a holy fire, a single spark that had burned away into his existence and left him with wings that glowed softly in the morning sun.

For the first eon of his existence (he had no way of knowing how long because back then everything had just seemed truly timeless and the arbitrary ways of measuring it were quite some time away as humanity hadn't even made its way onto land yet) he went about with no awareness of Castiel's existence.

That had all changed when one of his brothers had brought him down to Earth to view that special creature that Father (Who Balthazar had not met then and still hadn't met eons later) was so proud of take its first steps out of the sludge and onto the land.

That had been when Balthazar had first seen Castiel; it was in that moment that Balthazar would have sworn that he truly saw perfection for the first time. Castiel was... Magnificent, his grace had a soft and inviting glow, a true warmth that Balthazar had never experienced from any of his brothers that he'd met.

But what had truly first drawn Balthazar to Castiel had been Castiel's wings. He had never seen wings so beautiful in all of his existence. To Balthazar, it looked as though their Father had woven them himself, made from the very stars that shone above Earth's sky.

Balthazar hadn't noticed that he'd started moving toward Castiel (he had no way of knowing Castiel's name then, but he felt as though the knowledge was burning underneath the surface of his being, just beyond his reach) until one of his brother's (his guardian Gabriel, if he remembered correctly) pulled him back, voice gentle as he chastised Balthazar for trying to wander off.

And Balthazar had squirmed, and Balthazar had gotten out of the hold because he's right there, can't you see? but by the time he got a chance to look back to his angel with wings made from stars, Castiel was gone.

Balthazar had felt the keen sting of disappointment (the first emotion he'd really felt aside from contentment since his inception) for what seemed to him like an eternity. He had curled up in his nest, drawing his wings tightly around himself and refusing to speak to any of his brothers for some time.

When Gabriel had finally coaxed Balthazar to join his brothers yet again it was because there was some scheduled meeting among all of the fledglings. Balthazar hadn't made the connection at the time, his mind still adjusting to the sharp sting of the new emotion, and had been so wrapped up in his own mind that he had almost missed Castiel a second time.

He was sitting off on his own on the edge of the group as the other fledglings began to mingle, studying each other closely, Raphael was standing close by and keeping watch over his ward. His wings were pulled tightly around himself as he looked out over everyone else. That was Balthazar's first taste of bitterness.

But that was so short lived it had barely even registered in his mind before he felt his first true sensation of joy; because that was when he saw him again, laying on his stomach and watching the other angels with his wings held up to shade him from the sun.

There was nothing stopping him that time, and within seconds he had made his way to Castiel's side, his wings folding against his back as he bent down to study Castiel's face. The smaller fledgling stared back at him with eyes that had been made from the sky and filled with the purest innocence.

They didn't say anything, but slowly shifted until Balthazar had curled up against Castiel, their wings brushing together in a twist of dawn and the silver twilight.

It was then, after lying next to each other as the sun slowly set, that he finally learned Castiel's name, and from that point on it was burned so deeply inside of his being that it became a part of his identity.

Balthazar had fought against Gabriel as he was scooped up at the end of the day, not wanting to leave Castiel's side.

After a while of arguing, Castiel had softly spoken up with the suggestion that he come with Balthazar. It took some time beyond that to convince Gabriel and Raphael to allow it.

(Looking back on it, Balthazar would wonder if they had seen how attached he was to Castiel already, and if they had been able to tell where it would progress.)

So that night would be the first night he spent with Castiel by his side, and he waited until the small fledgling had drifted off to wrap his wings protectively around him and falling asleep himself.

From then on Castiel spent every night with Balthazar, and they became almost inseparable during the day. Together they watched as those fish they had watched climb out of the sludge so many years ago grow and evolve into the creatures (monkeys) that their Father was so proud of.

And for a time, Balthazar would have claimed that he knew true perfection.

But then Lucifer had rebelled, he had flown through Heaven in a rage, decrying Father's latest creations, setting the souls of those who had been brought into "their sanctuary" ablaze. Balthazar had been on Earth with Castiel at the time, watching humans watch the stars.

They hadn't had any idea what had happened until Raphael appeared to them in a blaze. Raphael didn't care that he'd scared the humans, he only seemed to relax once he saw his ward and Balthazar fully intact.

The incident was burned into Balthazar's mind as the only time he had ever seen Raphael so panicked. It was also the only time Balthazar could ever remember one of his brothers besides Castiel hugging him.

Once they were back in Heaven (they still resided in the fledgling's domain, and even though Balthazar had complained about getting old enough to live elsewhere he had been swiftly silenced when they said that if he had his own domain then he wouldn't be able to sleep with Castiel by his side anymore) they were sat down with the rest of the brood as Michael explained what had happened.

And Balthazar held Castiel close as his friend's world crumbled; because the thought that Lucifer, he who had sung the fledglings to sleep once upon a time, could rebel in such a way that he would be forced from Heaven was more than the small angel could comprehend.

Castiel had always been innocent, but Lucifer's fall had almost shattered that. Castiel withdrew completely, he returned to sleeping on his own, he wouldn't even go anywhere near Balthazar. It burned him inside like the very fire that had given him life to see his friend so broken.

And then Gabriel was gone and their Father disappeared even more than he had already been, and Balthazar had no one but Castiel. And that almost broke him.

He had flown to Castiel, finding him in a small corner with his wings pulled around him in a way that was so much like the way Balthazar had pulled in on himself when Castiel had slipped through his fingers that one time.

And he had forced his way underneath the barriers Castiel had set up, curling against Castiel. He said no words, and Castiel hadn't said any either. But there had been tears, and Balthazar couldn't rightly remember who they had come from.

Their wings intertwined, and that was how Raphael had found them some time later. Balthazar couldn't be quite sure, but he was fairly certain that humanity had progressed from living in nomadic groups to trying their hand at farming, so they had probably been there for quite some time.

That was the last time Castiel slept separately from Balthazar, and it was the last time Balthazar would allow himself to cry.

As he would later learn, it was also the last time Raphael had allowed himself to show concern for his ward.

Somehow, they managed to return to something similar to the way they had been once, escaping to Earth to watch as humanity progressed. Castiel was always so innocent, so fascinated by their Father's creations (though Balthazar still just thought of them as monkeys). As time progressed, Balthazar had found himself working to keep Castiel from viewing anything that might taint his opinion of the creatures, anything to keep that innocence alive.

They grew older, and Castiel's grace only grew more glorious. It baffled Balthazar how he was the only one who saw it. If anyone else spoke of Castiel's grace, they spoke of him like any other angel, a commoner. But Balthazar knew that Castiel must have held their Father's favor, even if he was the only one to see it.

They watched as the humans came to know machines, building tools of destruction and creation. They watched the wars and the lovers and they watched how through it all, the humans still would look to the stars with their eyes wide in wonder.

Balthazar would never forget the start of the twentieth century. He and Castiel had been sitting on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a city by the sea. A brush of their wings, no different from so many touches before.

But it was.

Castiel had gasped as though he had once again been struck by lightning.

(They'd gotten a bit too close to Mr. Franklin, that one time.)

His eyes gaining a spark in them that Balthazar had never seen before. He'd turned to Balthazar, and suddenly their faces were inches apart, Castiel's eyes made from the sky staring directly into him, piercing his grace in a way that only Castiel could.

They stayed there for a moment, and when Castiel started to shift away Balthazar felt a surge of panic run through him. He could see himself as a fledgling, and Castiel was slipping out of his fingers again.

Balthazar surged forward, catching Castiel and pressing their lips together, like they had seen so many humans do.

Castiel went still; so innocent and unsure. For a moment Balthazar feared that he had made a mistake, that he may have shattered the friendship between them and that Castiel was going to break away from him forever.

But then Castiel was kissing him back and Balthazar could feel the universe sing around him, and he could taste the harmony on Castiel's lips.

It was perfection, it was the kind of thing that human poets wrote of and could only dream that they would experience.

The kiss broke, but the universe still sang. And slowly, Balthazar extended his grace toward Castiel.

He was met, and he felt that warm, warm grace slowly work its way within him, twisting and twining in-towards.

Angels and humans were so different, even with all that Castiel and Balthazar had seen, they knew that humanity would never have something like this. A binding so perfect and finite, the weaving of graces and the promise of eternity.

Castiel was innocent, but he wasn't so innocent that he didn't know what he was doing. And it made Balthazar want to break apart with pure joy at the knowledge.

Their graces twined together so perfectly, the harmonies raising in Balthazar's mind and echoing and becoming a symphony of perfection, a symphony that the universe must have been writing since the first moment he laid eyes on Castiel.

Their wings brushed together, and they fell back, Balthazar on the Earth and Castiel spread over him as their graces bound together and pressed deeper into each other, the cliff around them flooding with the light of their graces as they both felt themselves surrender to bliss.

In that moment, Balthazar knew that he would be destined for happiness, because he had his angel with eyes made from the sky and wings woven from the stars. Nothing would ever come between them, bound forever together with their graces connected and their love eternal.

And then Dean Winchester happened.

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If you notice any errors/veering into purple prose/something you liked/didn't like, feel free to leave a comment pointing it out. Sam if you want me to clarify something or have questions. Hope you've enjoyed.


	2. Chapter 2

Ever since Dean Winchester had been born, gossip had slipped through Heaven about the future of the Righteous Man. They knew of his ultimate fate, and they knew that there would be another to join him, but they knew nothing of the path that would take him there. Most angels believed that it was known by the archangels, kept a carefully guarded secret as they made sure that the plan was followed to the letter.

Balthazar, no matter how much Castiel chastised him for it, had always thought that to be a load of bologna.

Balthazar couldn't bring himself to argue against Castiel on the matter. His Love's devotion to their Father's word, or what everyone believed to be their Father's word, had always been such a large part of him that Balthazar didn't dare to fight against it.

So he contented himself to stay back and listen to the angels speak of Dean Winchester, of how he was growing up, and of the pain he was going through in order to shape him into Michael's warrior.

If Balthazar had been anyone but himself, he might have felt sorry for the monkey. Castiel certainly did, even if he hid it from all of the other angels.

Some nights, Balthazar would simply hold his Love and allow him to confess everything that he felt about the life of the Righteous Man that he worried went in violation of their Father's will, and Balthazar would assure him that their Father would not hate him for having sympathy for a member of their Father's greatest creations.

And then Dean Winchester had gone and gotten himself sent to Hell, (which, ironically enough, was actually part of the plan for once) and that meant that someone had to save him. Balthazar had felt a brief stab of pity for the poor sap who got sent to do the job.

And then he'd returned home four months after Dean Winchester had been sent to Hell to find Castiel simply glowing with excitement. He was ashamed to say that he hadn't made the connection at first, instead he'd thought with a little jump of excitement that perhaps Castiel had agreed they should have a fledgling, despite every argument he'd made in the past.

And then Castiel had spoken.

"I've been chosen to save the Righteous Man." And then he had launched into the tale of how Raphael had called him (first real conversation the two had had since Castiel was a fledgling) and had told him of how he'd been selected for this mission of the highest honor.

Balthazar had wanted to scream, to break down and beg his Love to turn down the mission, to stay safe with him, even if the Apocalypse was only a year or two off, Balthazar didn't want to lose him before then. Or at all.

But Balthazar said none of that, because Castiel's eyes shone more brightly than he'd ever seen, and he couldn't take that happiness away.

"Cassie, that's... That's great. Good for you." Even with the constant feed of emotions with the bond, Balthazar had learned to hide feelings from Castiel when necessary.

Castiel smiled, pressing closer and kissing Balthazar. "I have never been so honored. Raphael truly seemed proud of me." And Castiel had never stopped seeking approval from Raphael ever since they were fledglings, he had always sought to earn the respect of the one who had once cared for him in the nights, telling him of their Father.

Balthazar held Castiel close, smiling at him. "Well," he said, tone suggestive, "would you like me to show you how happy I am for you?" His grace brushed against Castiel's, drawing a soft gasp from his Love and a gentle brush back.

"Mm... Unfortunately, I cannot." Castiel's grace withdrew after a few seconds. "I have to speak with Raphael and Uriel, and then I have to go retrieve the Righteous Man."

Balthazar groaned, pouting to cover up the worry that was burning within him. "When you return...?"

And his Love gave a soft laugh, kissing him again. "Yes, Balthazar. When I return you may have your way with me."

"That's all I ask." And Balthazar extinguished the last of his worry out of existence, because Castiel would be fine.

That doesn't stop him from spending the next day pacing along the kitchen and waiting for Castiel to return.

(Their house was an oddity among angels, as not many angels chose to have a human house within their own domain. Balthazar had based it off of an old house he'd seen during the late nineteenth century, but as time progressed modern human technology was added to it. Balthazar liked to think of it as his way of paying homage to his Father's creations even as he was walking among them less frequently.)

And when Castiel had finally come back, tired and sore but triumphant, Balthazar had pulled him into a kiss that left them both breathless.

"So you've succeeded, then," he murmured against Castiel's lips as they finally broke the kiss.

"Yes," Castiel said, still grinning as he nodded. He was just so sincere in his joy at being the one to rescue the Righteous Man. "He is returned to his loved ones."

"And now we can get on track with the plan to destroy their world." Balthazar didn't even pretend to be bothered by Castiel's admonishing look. "What? You know that's what's going to happen."

"Well... Yes. But you make it sound so cruel."

Balthazar would have pointed out that, yes, in all fairness it was a cruelty, but he could never bring himself to do anything that might threaten Castiel's innocence or earnestness, so he didn't say anything else and simply drew his Love into another kiss.

They stood like that for a while before Balthazar began entwining their graces, and Castiel responded to it with the same eagerness he always did, regardless of how tired he was. It made Balthazar vibrate with joy that his Love was always so happy to have him.

Things had just been getting interesting when Castiel pulled away with a sharp gasp. Balthazar's first instinct had been that he'd hurt Castiel somehow, but then a phantom voice had echoed through their house and Balthazar realized.

The humans were trying to find Castiel, trying to see who it was that had rescued the Righteous Man.

And Balthazar felt a flash of pity mix with his irritability, because Castiel didn't have a vessel, and whoever it was who was doing the scrying which had interrupted them was going to have an unpleasant surprise if they didn't back off.

And, of course, they didn't. As soon as the connection was severed, Castiel apologized to him before hurrying off to go speak with Raphael.

Balthazar sighed and sat in a chair. He should have known better than to think that he and Castiel could just return to their normal lives after Castiel had saved the Righteous Man.

That was the last he saw of his Love for a while, but he had felt through their bond when Castiel had gained his vessel. He made a note to show Castiel the joys of a vessel later on, having already figured them out since he got his own vessel some twenty years prior.

It was another week before Balthazar got to see Castiel again. He'd run himself ragged with worry, his only consolation being that he would have already died if Castiel weren't alive.

Castiel had appeared in the kitchen, looking a bit worn out but very triumphant. He pulled Balthazar into a deep kiss.

An hour later, they lay sprawled out over the kitchen table with their graces still tangled together and their wings flattened together. Castiel finally spoke, his voice so full of joy that it made Balthazar's heart swell until it felt like it was going to burst free from the chest of his vessel. The words hardly mattered.

But they did.

"His... His guardian, Cassie, that's..." They had shifted so they were sitting on the chairs, the table showing no evidence of their graces tangling so short a time ago.

"Such an honour, I just... I can't believe Raphael and Michael are trusting me with him..." Castiel was running his fingers through his feathers, preening. It was a nervous habit that Castiel had never quite been able to break.

"If anyone can do it, it's you." He smiled, extending his hand to grasp Castiel's. "And I will help wherever you need me."

And he would be damned if he didn't feel the slightest bit of pride at how Castiel's eyes had lit up when he had supported him, stood by him. As if he would ever be able to do anything besides that.

"Just promise you'll still have time for your dull old mate while you're off having adventures with the Righteous Man," he said softly.

"Of course," Castiel said, and Balthazar could feel the sincerity rolling off of him in waves. "I will always have time for you, Balthazar."

"That's all I ask, my love." He held Castiel's hand until his mate was called to Dean's side. It was only then that he allowed himself to feel the resentment that Dean Winchester so brought forth. Even though he didn't know the man then, he didn't like how he could take Castiel's time so fully after such a short time.

He knew he was being selfish, but he had only just gotten Castiel so short of a time ago. Maybe if had been a thousand years later then he might have been willing to share, but...

He sighed. It would do him no good to dwell on it. Castiel was loyal to him, after all. Dean Winchester gave him no reason to worry.

Right?

It would be some time until he saw Castiel again, although he sometimes got inclinations of what his Love was going through. Visions, memories, sensations.

It had started off with things Castiel had already done, a brief flash of the 1970s here, a death threat to the hairless ape's brother there. It was nice. Although he sincerely did not like the way Dean Winchester's eyes dragged over Castiel, staring deeply into him. Balthazar didn't like it one bit.

And the some time of silence, while Castiel worked with Raphael and Uriel. And then he was sent to Winchester again.

The vision had struck Balthazar while he was sitting on the bed, drinking a bottle of vodka and waiting for his Love to show up. He felt like some strange combination of a thirty-year-old alcoholic and a teenage girl.

"Oh, and Castiel?" It was Uriel. They were in a motel in some town. Dean Winchester stood between them. "Balthazar is getting restless." Uriel vanished.

Dean turned to look at Castiel, a look on his face that certainly wasn't cute. "Balthazar?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who's he?"

Balthazar wanted desperately to see the look on Dean Winchester's face when he found out that the angel he had been so obviously lusting over was claimed, that he was mated and wouldn't be swayed by the human.

"He is... A friend." A friend.

A friend.

Balthazar is... A friend.

"A friend, huh? What are you, his keeper?"

"Something like that."

Balthazar jerked himself out of the vision to find a pool of vodka around him and the horrible sensation of knots pulling themselves in his stomach.

A friend. He was a friend. Just a friend. That's what Castiel wanted Dean Winchester to think of him as. Not his mate, not the being that Castiel loved. Loves. Loved.

Just a friend. A friend who Castiel was burdened with.

His stomach churned, and Balthazar did the only thing he could think of.

He crawled over to the edge of the bed and emptied the contents of his stomach over onto the floor.

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If you notice any errors/veering into purple prose/something you liked/didn't like, feel free to leave a comment pointing it out. Sam if you want me to clarify something or have questions. Hope you've enjoyed.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for taking so long getting this one posted. Almost immediately after I got the last chapter up, I got swamped with life. Schoolwork, applying to art schools... Bluh. But, I should have a bit of a reprieve, seeing as finals are in three weeks. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think.

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Balthazar would have loved to say that he went and confronted Castiel about the vision the first chance he got, but it was a lie of the highest order. Mostly he moped around their house, counting off every day that passed where Castiel didn't come home.

After that last vision, he had started blocking them out, blocking out any sensations he might get from Castiel over their bond. If Castiel was going to pretend with Dean that he was available, then Balthazar was going to pretend that it didn't kill him inside.

He had no way of judging how much time had passed, given how differently time flowed between Earth and Heaven. It might have been months, perhaps days, or perhaps even years. He didn't know, secluded away in his house as he tuned out the chatter of the angels working away at bringing about the Apocalypse.

So it came as quite a shock to him when he woke up to find Castiel sitting on the bed and staring at him, eyes shining as his face was twisted with worry. Balthazar pushed himself up so that he was sitting, opening his mouth to make a comment about how nice it was for Castiel to spare some time for him, only to be cut off by Castiel flinging himself into Balthazar's arms.

He went still in surprise before quickly wrapping his arms around Castiel, unsure of how to interpret the angel's actions.

Castiel cupped his face, beginning to slowly kiss along his jaw. "You cut yourself off from me. I didn't notice at first... Why did you?" And Balthazar's heart broke, because Castiel sounded as though Balthazar had torn something precious from him, and all at once his pain was forgotten as he pulled his love close to himself and wrapped his wings around him.

"Castiel..." He said slowly, not sure if he just wanted to sweep it all under the rug until Castiel broke his heart again or if he wanted to let it all come out.

His walls must have dropped, because Castiel's face shifted slightly. "Tell me," he pleaded, and that was all it took.

"It hurt too much. To see your memories." Castiel's eyes were clouded with confusion, so Balthazar had to continue. "We're bonded, Cassy. That means that when we're separated I'm given a deeper insight into your mind then when we're together." He kissed Castiel's forehead. "And it hurt."

"Why?" Of course Castiel couldn't just leave it at that, couldn't simply jump to the conclusion that it was only the separation that had been painful, because he had felt it when Balthazar had blocked him out and he knew that nothing could hurt more than that.

And so Balthazar told him, everything just spilling out as he told Castiel about the visions he'd received, when he reached the last one he'd gotten to he watched as comprehension slowly dawned in Castiel's eyes.

"Balthazar..." Castiel started, but Balthazar wasn't finished, and his next words were just as bitter as they were resigned.

"If I'd known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have bonded with you, I don't want you stuck with me when you clearly wan-" Balthazar couldn't finish as Castiel chose to make him stop talking with a forceful kiss.

He went still as Castiel kissed him, the taste of his human vessel mixing with his grace and producing a sharp contrast of copper and ozone that Balthazar was unable to keep from admitting was more intoxicating than any wine in human history.

They stayed like that for a while, Castiel firmly sitting on Balthazar's legs as he kissed him with a passion Balthazar had never before seen on him, before Castiel pulled back and looked at him.

"If I had any doubts about bonding to you, you would know them. I love you," Castiel said, hands sliding along Balthazar's jaw and neck. "And don't you dare ever think otherwise."

"Winchest-"

"Dean is a friend. Regardless of any... Affection I may have for him, he is not my mate." Castiel gave him a short kiss. "I'm sorry. If I'd known that my being away would cause you such distress..."

Castiel trailed off, tentatively extending his grace to Balthazar. It took only a moment of derision before Balthazar latched onto it and pulled his love closer.

The twining of their graces felt like a million stars exploding within them, weakened and frayed they could feel their bond strengthening once again as Balthazar drew Castiel into another kiss.

This kiss was slower,less hurried as Balthazar took his time to explore the new curves and tastes that Castiel had now that he had a vessel.

As their graces became more and more tangles, Castiel began deepening the kiss. Balthazar smiled against his love's lips as their bodies began moving together, sliding against one another with a harmony that rang true with their graces.

A small gasp slipped between Castiel's lips before he gripped at Balthazar's clothes and started tugging, the sense of a demand hanging unspoken in the air between them as their clothing all just seemed to melt away.

Balthazar broke the kiss, looking at Castiel with love; Castiel looked back at him, their bodies and graces still sliding and tangling together as they became further and further joined, small cries coming from both of them as they joined together and their graces twined perfectly as they felt pure bliss.

Hours later, they finally decided to move again, though it was only so that they could wave a hand and clean themselves and draw the covers up.

Castiel's head was tucked under Balthazar's chin as he nuzzled against his mate and traced his vessel's fingers along the bare chest of Balthazar's vessel. "I've missed you," he murmured gently. "Missed this... Everything."

Balthazar caught Castiel's hand, twining their graces there in affection. "I've missed you, as well," he said softly. "I wish we could remain this way..."

Castiel sighed, and all at once the bliss that had settled around them came crashing down. "Balthazar..."

"I know," Balthazar gave a bitter laugh. "Winchester, right?"

"I have a duty..."

"You're attracted to him."

Castiel didn't deny it, and Balthazar wished with all of his being that he had. "Balthazar. If I could stay here with you, I would..."

"So you're going to leave again." Balthazar sighed. "How soon?"

"The next time Dean calls for me." Castiel sat up, looking at Balthazar. "I know that you don't like him..."

"That would be quite a large understatement, my dear," Balthazar drawled, sitting up as well while locking eyes with Castiel; an unspoken bitterness rolled between the two of them.

Castiel sighed, looking to his hands as he tucked his wings tightly against his back. "If... You don't want to see me, I can leave." He kept his eyes averted, his mouth tightening in the closest to frowning that Balthazar had ever seen him.

For a moment, he was tempted to say yes. And he hated himself for that.

"Stay," he said as he took Castiel's hand in his own. "I should value my time with you, given how rare it's seeming to become." He couldn't keep the bitterness from his words.

Castiel frowned, his clothes reforming on his body. "I don't want to upset you... If my presence is upsetting you, I should leave." He moved to get to his feet, only stopping when Balthazar grabbed his wrist. He turned to look back at the other angel.

"Please don't leave." Balthazar's voice was vulnerable as he pulled Castiel closer. "I meant what I said, I value my time with you, even more now that I hardly ever get to see you."

Castiel was still for a moment before wrapping his arms around Balthazar and pressing close to him. "It isn't easy for me, either... Everytime I try to get away to see you, Dean will call me, or Uriel or Raphael will have a job for me to undertake..." He kissed Balthazar's forehead.

"Meanwhile, I never even bother to leave here..." Balthazar sighed. "There's nothing for me to do in Heaven, and Earth is boring without you..." There were plenty of entertaining activities on Earth, but the only ones that really interested Balthazar were the ones he would never dare to do with anyone but Castiel.

"I have no time to relax anymore," Castiel sighed. "And I miss you so much..." He trailed kisses along Balthazar's face, and each one of them burned with a bittersweet heat that reminded Balthazar that for all that Castiel loved him, his love was bound by his duty.

Balthazar hummed. "I wish they hadn't chosen you... Or would give you more free time, at least." He wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him as close as he could manage, as though his holding Castiel would allow him to keep his love with him there forever and neither of them would have to leave again. No Apocalypse, no need to worry...

Castiel sighed. "The way it's going, the only way I'd ever get to see you was if you came on missions with me..." He trailed off, tilting his head as he thought, the words running through his mind and echoing between the two of them.

There was a pause, and Balthazar could see the lightbulb go off above Castiel's head.

"Cassy, no." For as much as he loved Castiel, joining him on the job would mean extended contact with Michael's vessel, and he doubted that the other angels would look favorably on him killing the Righteous man. Regardless of how justified he might have been, or how easy it was to bring him back to life.

"But it's the perfect solution," Castiel said excitedly, wings fluttering behind him and his eyes lighting up like a supernova. "You can come to assist me on missions with Dean and Sam, and then we will be able to see each other every day, just like we used to." He grabbed one of Balthazar's hands, holding it between his own.

"Except we'll be battling against death every day, and trying to keep those two apes from getting themselves killed," Balthazar pointed out, not enthusiastic about the idea. Although it did mean that he could potentially prevent any of Winchester's potential attempts to seduce Castiel away from him.

Castiel waved it off. "They keep themselves alive well enough, and I do a fine job of it, and with you there it will be even easier." He was pressing closer, and it was clear that he was quite attached to this idea now that he had had it.

Balthazar sighed. "I'm not going to win this one, am I?" He knew perfectly well that when Castiel latched onto an idea as he appeared to have done with this one then it was almost entirely pointless to go against him because losing was inevitable.

"No." Castiel shook his head, a smile playing at his lips as he ran a hand along Balthazar's hair.

"And if I refuse then you're going to make my life miserable?" An incident came to mind from when they were fledglings, where he had denied Castiel his victory and Castiel had responded by going to Gabriel for advice on how to deal with Balthazar.

"Absolutely miserable," Castiel confirmed with a nod.

Balthazar sighed, giving him a soft kiss. "Fine, but if I kill Winchester, then it's your fault." He got to his feet, clothes reforming on his body as he walked away.

"... You're not actually going to kill Dean, right? Balthazar?" Castiel got up and chased after him as Balthazar broke into a light jog. "... Blathazar!"

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If you notice any errors/veering into purple prose/something you liked/didn't like, feel free to leave a comment pointing it out. Sam if you want me to clarify something or have questions. Hope you've enjoyed.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for taking so long getting this one posted. I got accepted to my top choice art school, so I've been working on scholarships. Plus, writing a novel.

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Balthazar would never be entirely sure of how Castiel had convinced their superiors to allow Balthazar to work with him, generally it had to be that mated angels weren't allowed to work together on matters of this level of importance, due to fear that their connection might interfere with their work.

Balthazar, after some deliberation on the subject, had decided that he didn't want to know. He remembered very clearly how it had been when they were growing, scarcely more than fledglings in the eyes of their caretakers, that proved just how impossible it was to go against Castiel once his mind had gotten fixated on something.

He absently ruffled his feathers, drawing his wings more tightly around his resting mate as his thoughts turned back to their youth. He didn't often think about it, not really, instead choosing to focus on the present and his time with Castiel, which he could feel slipping away with each step that Heaven took toward completing their goals for the apocalypse.

It was only recently that he had begun to understand why humans considered the time they had to be so precious, why the thought of death terrified them in such ways. The apocalypse was becoming more of a reality with each day that passed by, and Balthazar could feel the chains drawing tighter and tighter around his neck at the thought that someday, someday soon, he might not have Castiel anymore.

Castiel's fingers on his wings drew him out of the thoughts, thoughts of death and eternity and pain, and he turned his eyes to Castiel's face, the setting sun of the garden of their realm in Heaven casting a silver light across the features of his vessel, catching on his feathers and casting a glow of sapphires and angel blades across them.

"You're thinking," Castiel observed, his fingers beginning to glide through Balthazar's feathers, straightening and smoothing them in a way that had become a second instinct to the both of them less than a century after they had first met each other.

"Really. I never would have guessed," Balthazar said dryly, bringing his head down to rest in the crook of Castiel's neck, taking a breath of the scents there. Castiel's vessel smelled of earth and smoke, but underneath that Balthazar could smell ozone, a reminder of the two separate beings living within the human's body.

Castiel's hands slowly worked through Balthazar's feathers, drawing the occasional contented hum from him, and Castiel snuggled back against him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He murmured the question, voice rumbling under the soft skin that Balthazar rested against. That much, he supposed, he could appreciate; it was nice to be able to feel Castiel's voice as it rumbled like the roar of waves crashing in the ocean.

"It's not important," Balthazar said after a few moments of contemplation, and that was true enough if he thought about it. If his thoughts were of the apocalypse, and the apocalypse was an inevitably, then his thoughts truly were not important. He didn't like it, but he wasn't going to burden Castiel with his thoughts that any other angel would have declared to be the product of their dear brother Lucifer.

Castiel gave a small hum, his hands pausing for only a moment at Balthazar's words before resuming their stroking. Balthazar tightened his arms around Castiel's chest, drawing him closer as he rested back against the tree. They likely wouldn't have much longer to relax, and Balthazar refused to allow his thoughts to be consumed by the worry for the future that was so very blasphemous.

One of Castiel's hands left his wing, coming up to rest on Balthazar's cheek, the touch sending sparks through his being. Unconsciously, he let out a soft sigh of contentment, and wished that the moment could last for an eternity.

Wishes were for naught, though, as at that moment Uriel appeared on the porch of their house, staring at them.

"We're being summoned," Castiel observed quietly, sitting up a bit straighter from where he was in front of Balthazar. Balthazar's next sigh was heavy as he pulled his wings back and folded them against his back.

Castiel's own wings folded behind him as he got to his feet, and the light they had so freely given off seemed to fade to almost nothing as he began walking to Uriel, Balthazar close behind him. Uriel, he noted, at least had the decency not to have his wings flared while they had their own folded, a tight curl of rusted brown against the angel's back.

"Uriel," Balthazar said with the sense about him of one greeting an old friend they hadn't seen in years. "So what brings you to our humble abode?" He set a hand on the small of Castiel's back as they reached the house.

Uriel cast a long look around the porch, eyes trailing along the wooden fixtures that Balthazar had made after flipping through a Better Homes and Gardens magazine some number of years ago. He had liked it well enough at the time, but with the way Uriel was looking at it he found himself wondering if it was time for an update.

Uriel turns his eyes to the both of them, his eyes hardened in the way that had become such a trait of him in recent years. It meant one thing, really, it meant that Uriel was fully in business mode.

"Balthzar, Castiel." He nodded to each of them. "We have work to do."

"Well, that much was obvious," Balthazar said, ignoring the way Castiel's wings twitched when he spoke, "but do you plan on telling us what that is?"

Uriel leveled him with a glare, his wings tightening as though he wanted nothing more than to flare them out in threat. He didn't, though, which was more restraint than Balthazar might have thought him capable of.

Balthazar hadn't really been expecting an answer, he'd expected maybe something about how he should be patient or about how he would find out soon enough, or any of those things that Uriel had become fond of saying since he had started out-ranking them.

But Uriel didn't say any of those things, instead he said a single word, a name that neither Castiel nor Balthazar had thought they would hear for a long while.

"Anna."

That had been all it had taken to get Balthazar to go along without that many other sarcastic comments, and Uriel explained as they went how the Winchesters - because who bloody else - had found her, he explained everything they knew about what had happened to her since she had vanished so many years ago.

To think that she had fallen to humanity... It baffled Balthazar, a small bit, though nowhere near as much as it seemed to confuse Castiel.

Uriel didn't need to go on to the threat she presented, even if it was not of her own doing she was still a weak spot, and he didn't need to tell them what needed to be done with her.

"We've tracked them down, Father willing they'll just hand her over," Uriel said as they came down to Earth.

It had been quite a while since Balthazar had walked the Earth, especially in his vessel's form. The way their wings all faded to shadows struck something within him, a sense of unease he wasn't familiar with. He wished that he could wrap his wings around Castiel and hold him close, but he couldn't.

Castiel must have sensed something through their bond (once again open between them and allowing no secrets between them) and gently extended his grace to him, wrapping a small tendril around him in a way that made Balthazar feel warm and relaxed.

He gave his love a soft smile before placing an all-business face on as they approached the location of the Winchesters. One last glance to the other two, and then they were there, standing before the Winchesters, a demon, and their fallen sister.

They demand for Anna to be handed over, and Balthazar isn't the least bit surprised when they refuse. Heated words, Uriel wanting a battle, and next thing he knows he has his grace crackling between his fingers.

He could feel Castiel's reluctance to attack the Winchesters, and he wished that there was something he could do to reassure his mate.

They'd only just started to attack when there was suddenly a sharp tug behind his eyelids and he finds himself banished from the room.

Angel banishing sigil.

Well, that just figured.

He hadn't even gotten a proper introduction.

His first order of business was finding Castiel, easily done as their bond had allowed them to be sent to roughly the same area. Second order of business was put on hold as he drew his love into a deep kiss and held him close.

"I'm alright," Castiel murmured after the kiss was done, his hands holding tightly to the lapels of Balthazar's jacket.

"So am I," Balthazar said as he held Castiel tighter.

Second order of business was achieved an hour or so later, when they had returned to Heaven to discuss what to do next with Uriel and the other angels.

In Balthazar's opinion, the whole thing dragged on for far too long; too much argument went on over how to get Anna, about the relative pros and cons of fighting the Winchesters for her.

Honestly, when Dean finally caved and gave up their location, it had felt like Balthazar was finally getting out of a long meeting where all they discussed was what color to paint the new room.

… Perhaps he had been watching too much of human culture.

Castiel felt the same way, though not quite in the same sense. Balthazar hadn't been aware that his love could experience boredom, although he supposed that it might have been a trait that he himself introduced. He wondered how much Castiel had changed since they bonded.

He didn't have time to dwell on it, because then they were off to get Anna. This time, Dean Winchester notices him. He doesn't say anything, but Balthazar can feel the monkey's eyes flicking to him time and time again.

He buried the instinct to move closer to Castiel, give some sort of indication to Dean Winchester that Castiel was his and he belonged to Castiel and neither of them belonged to Dean Winchester.

But he stayed where he was, and then - oh yes

Demons.

Of course.

Sam Winchesters demonic - he wasn't going to call her a whore because he had manners, but the word really did describe her so well - lover lead Alistair to them.

Once the fight breaks out, Balthazar doesn't hesitate to join in, sticking close to Castiel's side to defend him from anything that he might not expect.

Before he can really get into the fight - and there he was mapping out Alistair's weak points - he felt a wave of energy wash over them, a rush of a grace being released.

He didn't need to look to know, there was only one who it could be.

Anna.

The next few minutes are a blur to him, all he knows when he comes back to himself is that he and Castiel are in their house, Castiel's wings wrapping around him and the both of them breathing slowly as they calmed down from what had happened.

He still hadn't gotten a proper introduction.

Although that wasn't important, as Castiel was speaking, cursing himself for letting the assignment get so far out of hand and for letting them lose Anna.

He placed a kiss to his love's forehead, sighing. He wouldn't point out how the fault of them losing Anna belonged to the Winchesters, not when Castiel was so fond of them, much as his own feelings strayed in the opposite direction.

They retired to bed, holding each other and relaxing from the stess they had all gone under in the name of their duty.

As it was, it would be a few weeks before he would get a proper introduction to the monkey Winchester.

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If you notice any errors/veering into purple prose/something you liked/didn't like, feel free to leave a comment pointing it out. Sam if you want me to clarify something or have questions. Hope you've enjoyed.


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